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Supporting a loved one at mealtime with ED recovery

  • Writer: Rhea Lewandoski R.D.
    Rhea Lewandoski R.D.
  • Sep 30
  • 2 min read
A group of people outside at a table

Author: Rhea Lewandoski R.D.


This topic is difficult to summarize into one blog post, since everyone’s experience and your relationship to your loved one is unique. The amount of support needed, and the boundaries of each situation differ. Below are some ideas to consider, try on, or to ask your loved one about ie. “Would it be supportive if….?”. This is not an extensive list but rather a list to get ideas flowing of how you can support someone’s ED recovery.


  1. Plan ahead with your loved one when meals are shared together, for example:

    1. Is it helpful to decide what you’re having together or is it better if you decide?

    2. Is it helpful to know what is for dinner ahead of time? Should we create a dinner plan for the week?

    3. Is it helpful to do the grocery list together? When are the groceries being picked up?

    4. Who is cooking and when?

  2. Help to build a regular and consistent pattern around food – similar mealtimes daily; eat with your loved one; role model and normalize meals and snacks and getting enough.

  3. Provide a variety of food options in the home.

  4. Ask your loved one about their goals and how you can be supportive of them.

  5. If applicable and supportive, setting up some sort of meal/snack accountability with your loved one could be helpful if they are not already doing this with their treatment team, for example:

    1. Check-ins when you are not eating together.

    2. Check list somewhere visible to the both of you.

    3. Check-in at the end of the day.

    4. Photos throughout the day.

  6. Keep mealtime conversation interesting, distracting and off the topic of recovery and food.

  7. Acknowledge and examine your own relationship with food and how you talk about food and bodies, is it supportive of your loved one’s recovery?

  8. Acknowledge and validate your loved one’s experience at mealtime while encouraging their goals. A great resource to check out - EFFT – emotion coaching.

  9. Some lovely one-liners to get you started:

    1. I support you getting help.

    2. Recovery is possible.

    3. Let’s challenge diet culture and/or the eating disorder together.

    4. I want to learn how to support your recovery.

    5. Tell me about your recovery goals and I can support you.

    6. How you feel is valid because…

    7. When I notice you are upset/anxious/overwhelmed etc. how can I support you?

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