How Willingness Supports Recovery

Author: Cindy Binions B.A. ICF

At Westwind, we often talk about the idea of willingness, a concept that sounds simple but can be one of the bravest steps in recovery.

Willingness, in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), is about psychological flexibility, or the ability to stay present with whatever is happening inside you without judgment or resistance. It is not about liking or wanting painful experiences, but rather allowing them to exist so you can take meaningful action toward what matters most to you.

When we are caught up in trying to control our inner world, our thoughts, feelings, or memories, life can begin to shrink. The more we try not to feel anxious, sad, or ashamed, the more those emotions seem to take over. The control agenda backfires, as what we resist tends to persist. Willingness interrupts that pattern. It says, I am willing to feel this and still choose the life I want to live.

Willingness is not “trying harder,” and it is not pretending things are okay. It is a quiet, steady openness, a readiness to hold your pain gently rather than fight it. Willingness asks you to welcome your internal visitors, the anxious thoughts, the old memories, and the body sensations you wish would disappear — not because they are pleasant, but because pushing them away keeps you from showing up fully.

In recovery, this might look like saying yes to eating even when fear shows up, or reaching out for support even when shame whispers that you should not need help. It might mean being willing to feel and sit with uncomfortable emotions for five minutes, instead of promising to feel okay forever. It might mean approaching body image thoughts with openness and noticing the discomfort while continuing to act in line with recovery goals.

Willingness shifts the question from “How do I stop feeling this way?” to “Can I feel this way and still take one small step forward?” It is not easy work, but over time this practice creates space to breathe, to act and to live.

Recovery invites us to practice willingness every day. It asks us to meet our pain with openness instead of resistance, to feel what is hard to feel, and to keep moving toward what truly matters. Willingness is not about getting rid of struggle, but about learning to hold it gently as we take steps toward healing. In this way, recovery and willingness walk together, each moment of willingness becomes an act of recovery, and each act of recovery strengthens our capacity to say yes to life.