From Conflict to Clarity: 4 Steps to Challenge Eating Disorder Thoughts

Author: Lokadia Sims, MA, CCC

Our thoughts hold incredible power over our lives. They shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world around us, ultimately influencing our experiences. When we struggle to manage our thoughts in a helpful way, they are able to control us and at times cause us to engage in behaviours that go against our values. This is why it is important for us to learn how to manage our thoughts in positive ways.

For someone struggling with an eating disorder (ED), thoughts can feel overwhelming and conflicting. The ED generates many irrational fears and beliefs, trying to convince the person that these distorted thoughts are true. Meanwhile, the rational, healthy part of the self may hold opposing, more balanced thoughts. This clash between the ED’s distorted reality and the healthy self’s perspective creates intense inner conflict. When both sets of thoughts coexist, it can feel confusing and exhausting, making it difficult to use our wise, rational mind to challenge the ED. In these moments, surrendering to the ED’s voice feels easier, but this usually leads to behaviours that reinforce those harmful thoughts.

Learning to distinguish between thoughts that are influenced by the Eating Disorder and those from your healthy self is crucial. This awareness helps you recognize which thoughts truly reflect your values and which ones are unhelpful distortions. It’s also important to remember that not all thoughts are true—just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s accurate. Thoughts are simply mental events, and they only have as much power over us as we allow them to have.

Here are four steps to help you gain control over your thoughts:

1. Challenge unhelpful thoughts: When you notice a thought that isn’t helpful, ask yourself, “What would I rather believe or think instead?” Then, consider how acting on this healthier thought would change your behaviour, and start taking those actions.

2. Create a dialogue: Separate the ED’s voice from your healthy self. Allow your healthy self to respond to the ED’s unhelpful thoughts and end the conversation with an affirmation that reflects your core values and beliefs.

3. Label your thoughts: Remind yourself, “This is just a thought I’m having.” This simple act reduces the power the thought holds over you because it’s just a mental event—not necessarily truth.

4. Check alignment with your values: Ask yourself, “How does this thought align with what I truly value?” If it doesn’t, replace it by focusing on a thought that supports your values. Ask yourself what I want to believe and use that answer to guide your thoughts towards what’s important to you.