What Does Being Ready for Recovery Really Mean

 Author: Lokadia Sims, MA, CCC 

Being ready for recovery does not require a specific feeling or level of motivation; it is a state that is created with support and structure. Readiness follows as we take actions and steps towards recovery. Waiting to be ready before taking steps towards recovery is costly. In the waiting, the thoughts and behaviours grow and escalate, and the eating disorder continues to thrive in the state of delay.

Eating Disorders often come with a heavy sense of ambivalence. There are often many mixed feelings of wanting to recover but also wanting the eating disorder because it has felt safe and served a helpful purpose. Fear of change or of the unknown and backlash from the eating disorder adds to ambivalence at times, making it hard to discern whether a person wants recovery or not. When we are not taking steps towards recovery actions, we cannot nurture readiness or motivation because we are actively fueling and engaging in the state that thrives off inaction.

This is why it is essential not wait to be ready for recovery because the ambivalence and fear an ED creates plays a heavy role in convincing us that we have to feel a certain way before we are ready to recover. However, when we implement support and structure and begin to take recovery actions, the eating disorder begins to shift, creating space to regain more of our own sense of self and nurturing momentum for recovery. Waiting to feel a certain way relies heavily on feelings that are always shifting, being affected by both internal and external factors- many of which we cannot control. The ED will try to convince you to wait for a magical moment of motivation, and it is important that you do not.

A lack of readiness often translates into something deeper under the surface, often influenced by the Eating Disorder and the role it is playing. This shows up through fear-based statements such as fear of weight gain, the safety of the ED, fear of not being able to recover or the discomfort that can come with recovery. While these fears are understandable and are a part of trying to protect the self, they are often things that cannot be addressed until steps towards recovery begin to be taken.

Taking steps towards recovery to begin to shift things, do not have to be big, drastic steps. They can show up in small shifts that are manageable and do not overwhelm the body. This may look like starting to have conversations with supports about considering recovery, or it may look like noticing and paying attention to some of the ways the ED shows up or affects you. Readiness is not linear- it shows up like a wave – it looks like feeling ready in the morning and panicked by dinner. When we begin taking actions, regardless of feeling ready our actions are not dependent on needing to be in a specific state to change. Our state of readiness instead begins to become about making sure we have the right supports and tools that we need to make the changes necessary to support ourselves and our recovery.

Being ready for recovery doesn’t mean feeling confident, motivated or unafraid. It means being willing to take one small step- even while unsure and bringing in compassion for yourself in the challenging moments. There is no magic feeling that shows up. There is not a moment that comes when suddenly you feel ready to go all in. The ED depends on you waiting to feel ready to recover to maintain its role in your life. Your recovery depends on you taking actions to fuel your future.